Submission Guidelines

Is there something you’ve always wanted to say to your:

  • stepchild
  • husband
  • wife
  • ex-wife
  • ex’s new partner
  • ex-husband
  • partner’s ex
  • step-sibling
  • half-sibling
  • the person dating your parent
  • mom or dad
  • stepparent
  • step-grandparent?

If you could write a letter to someone in your stepfamily and they would never find out what you wrote, what would you say? Would you let them know how much you’ve cared about them all these years? Or do you have some anger you need to get off your chest? Are your feelings hurt? Are you proud of someone or thankful for their presence in your life and you’ve never told them?

If you would like to add a letter to the Stepfamily Letter Project, there are a few steps to follow:

  1. Compose your letter. We’re taking all kinds of letters: Happy, sad, angry, sweet — it doesn’t matter. We only ask you don’t threaten any harm in your letter or use any one’s real names. We won’t publish those. 
  2. Send your letter. You can send your letter within the body of an e-mail, in a Word document, a text document or Google Doc.  All we ask is that you send it to We’ll try to publish the letters within 48 hours of receipt. 
  3. Include your name and e-mail. Obviously, because you’re e-mailing your letter, we’ll have your e-mail address. Please also include your first and last name somewhere in the email . We will not publish your name or e-mail address on the website; however, should we need to contact you for any reason, we’d rather not have to start out with “Hey you with the letter.” 
  4. Spread the word. If you know someone in a blended family who you think would want to participate, let them know about the site. We’re happy to answer any questions about the project. We’ve event created this fabulous button (175 pixels x 175 pixels for your web-savvy folks out there) that you can post on your own blog or website.


    5. Check back or subscribe. If you have an RSS feed reader or aggregator, sign up for an RSS feed for the site. This way, you’ll be alerted when we post a new letter. 

4 Responses to “Submission Guidelines”

  1. I thought I would share my B-Day letter from my I-Ls.

    My B-day was the middle of last month. My Dad called on my B-Day and asked me to hop a plane to spend some time with my Mom who was having a tough time recovering from knee replacement surgery which she had a week earlier. My brother was scheduled to fly in from Singapore for a business trip and Dad thought it would be good for Mom to have all of the original clan together for a few days. Mom, Dad, Me and Pooh-Bear (my younger bro).

    So as a surprise at my B-day dinner my wife handed me tickets to fly home to Mom and Dad’s the next day.

    This letter from my In-Laws came in while I was at home with Mom. My wife just dug it out of the mail pile and gave it to me last night.

    Hi (My Name Here),

    Just a note with your birthday card to remind you how much it means to (wife’s Dad) and I that you were the soul mate that fate, God or whomever picked out for our (wife’s name here). You became her rock when she and (the Skid) were starting fresh in a different state and you continued being her strength through all of the good times, bad times and just obnoxious times all those years. (of course, once those long, long, long legs got your attention you were a goner anyway!) (And, of course, that charming little (Skid) was a pretty good lure too!)

    You’ve all been so good for each other and (Wife’s Dad) and I are very glad you’re part of the family – you’ve been very patient with our “quirky country ways” (and our very Native American sounding words and place names out here on the “left coast”)and thank you for teaching us about engineering and a bigger, faster-moving world that still allows people to be themselves – happy – eager to enjoy life – even in a fast pace environment.

    Keep on being yourself – our daughter’s husband and our grandson’s father.

    Happy “Middle Age” birthday!

    Love you lots!!

    (wife’s Mom and Dad)

    Well, they got me with that letter. I actually choked up a bit. I guess at some level I knew that they appreciated our marriage and the little family we have made (Wife, Me and the Skid) but this is the first time they have ever expressed their thoughts on the topic.

    Maybe I will have to back off a bit on my criticism of my I-L’s decision making abilities. At least they can recognize a good thing when they see it!

    I know I did when I tripped over their daughter’s “long, long, long legs” and watched those legs chase ducks around the golf course with that little tow headed toddler I have raised as my own.

    Best regards,

  2. I’m SO glad one of our members shared this site with our group! Thanks for starting this! You’ve already made such a great impact on so many!

  3. This is so great. I have some letters that I need to write!!! I am going to include this in my blog, I think it is such a great thing!!!!

  4. Thank you for this site it is really helping me with my blended family issues.

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