Dear Bio Mom

I don’t like you as a person and you suck as a mother. I really believe that the ONLY reason that you won’t give them to their father is because I am here. It kills you that they have a relationship with me, especially a good one. I am the one they come to for everything. You are the drunk who can’t function without a beer or two for the ride home after work,or the beer at 9 am just because you are on vacation. I am not the one borrowing money from my child to pick up a six pack. I am not the one going to my mother’s while she is not home to see what she’s got in the fridge to drink.  I am not the one who has moved the same boyfriend in six times now even after I promised the children he was gone for good, especially when I had to call the cops on him.  I am not the one who has moved six times in six and a half years.  I am not the one who get child support every two weeks but never has money to buy them clothes.  I am not the one is okay with the fact that the youngest has just spent the entire weekend glued to the tv.  I am not the one whose daughter rolls her eyes at while trying to talk to her. I am not the one who has not taken the children to a doctor or dentist appointment in 6 1/2 years. I am not the one who can’t remember to give them medicine when it is time or even get it filled for that matter. I am not the one who tried to have the youngest diagnosed with ADHD just because she was a handfull. Heck, you don’t even keep them in the right size pants, shirts or underwear.  Can you tell me what size they even wear?  I doubt it.

I am, however, the one that takes them to church, buys their clothes and shoes, helps with homework, helps with projects, shows up to school functions (sober), remembers due dates for fundraisers, stays home from work when they are sick, takes them to the doctor, gets their medicine filled and makes sure they take it all.  I am the one that contacts their teachers when their is a question or a problem and makes sure they have lunch money.  I am the one that knows which one does not eat red apples but loves the green ones because they are sour tasting.
So why would they not want to be around me?  I take care of them.  At our house they are not just here because it is our time with them.  They are here because we want them here and love them.  It should embarass you that another one is picking up your slack.  It would me.  Yeah, you gave birth to them, but I am more a mother to them than you are.  One day they may even tell you that.  And you will only have yourself to blame.

The One

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on November 28, 2011.

2 Responses to “Dear Bio Mom”

  1. It’s wonderful that those kids have you to do all of those things for them. It’s sad that their mom AND dad leave all of the parenting responsibility to you. But if you didn’t, they wouldn’t have anyone.

    I hate to hear when parents put alcohol before their kids. I can’t stand the stuff and can’t imagine it running my life.
    Pat on the back to you for doing all the things these kid’s parents should be doing. They will appreciate it one day and be forever grateful.

  2. Thank you for this letter. I am a stepmom of three that have lived with us for two years now. Their bio-mom is a drug addict that shows up for less than 1/4 of the visits she dragged us back to court countless times to be allowed. Most of the resources I’ve tried to find for coping assume that the bio-mom is a functioning adult that I should be attempting to befriend for the sake of the children, when really in my case she is a danger to the kids that I love and care for everyday that I am legally obligated to let see them. I just take some comfort in having someone else express feelings similar to what I have for my kid’s “real mom”. Best of luck to you and I hope that she gets better for your sake and the kids.

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