Dear Bio Mom

I saw another letter written in this format, so I gave it a shot. I wish you could really read this.

  1.  Your son has asthma. Though he hasn’t ever had a bad asthma attack, thank God, it is easy to look athim and see that you haven’t been giving him the medicine he needs twice a day. He is pale…as if his body isn’t getting enough oxygen. He is tired as if he’s working hard to breathe and needs more sleep. Is it really too much to ask that you medicate him the way the doctor has instructed?
  2. It would be nice if when we picked SS up from school he wasn’t so exhausted and crabby. So please get him in bed before the late night news comes on. I’m sure he isn’tinterested in that. He’s only 6 after all.
  3. It’s creepy that he sleeps in your bed every night. Be a real mother and stand up to your mom. SS needs his own bed and furniture in his room at your mom’s house. It’s no wonder he feels like a guest.  He’s sleeping with you or on the guest bed in the guest bedroom. Duh!
  4. Don’t call my husband to fix your every problem. He’s not your partner anymore. He never married you. In fact, you chose to walk away. Please stay gone as much as possible. We don’t care if you’re fighting with your boyfriend/fiancé.
  5. Unless of course yourboyfriend/fiancé hits you. Then call us so we can come get SS asap.
  6. If boyfriend/fiancé hitsyou…everything is not “perfect harmony”. SS is apparently not the only one who needs counseling now.
  7. When you use dinner out as a reward for good behavior in school, it’s no wonder you don’t haveany money for clothes for the child.
  8. A 6 year old should not bewearing size 4 underwear. Just saying. I throw those away whenever they come to our house. Of course that means that now I have to send you back the size 6 underwear that I’ve bought, and now have to go buy more. But I’drather see him in clothes that fit.
  9. Seriously, we are not going to keep or sell or steal any of SS’s toys that you let him bring to our house. Those are his things and we’ll make every effort to make sure they get back to you. But keeping them at your house is just mean to him.
  10. Although we absolutely would if we could, it is not our responsibility to make sure you don’thave to take off work when SS is sick. The deal is if he is at your house when he gets sick…you stay home with him. Yes there are three of us that can do that when he is sick at our house…but again..that is the family that you walked away from. Not to mention if you would take care of him…he’d be sick a lot less often.
  11. We put SS in Karate for a reason. If you don’t want to participate in getting him there often enough that is fine. At least don’t make it so hard for us to get him there often enough.
  12. There is nothing wrong with SS. He is not autistic. He does not have ADHD or Asberger’s or anything other than a mother who wants to label him as different so she can get more attention. A mother who wouldn’t come watch her son do karate unless she is fresh from surgery and looking for sympathy and attention. SS, however, is a normal 6 year old boy. He’s energetic and curious and he doesn’twant to miss anything. Yes, he needs counseling after watching your fiancé beat the [crap] out of you and having to open the door for the police all by himself, however, there is nothing wrong with him that your emotional abuse didn’t cause. Can you say Munchausen by Proxy?

If you could really listen and hear and understand I’d be amazed.


The mom our son wants to live with.


~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on November 12, 2011.

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