Dear Stepdaughter (I hate that word),

 

You have no idea how difficult it is for me to hold my tongue sometimes. The motivation is that I know that God has a plan for you and that you will get to know Him one day and He will shed light on truth. Until then, I sit quietly and I pray for you that you will not be led too astray by your mother. You tell me your mom is involved in PETA and HATES people who are cruel to animals and that your mom gives to animal charities. That is wonderful. But let’s get our priorities straight. People matter more than animals. Your mother aborted your sibling. You never knew, maybe you never will. She cheated on your dad, got pregnant, then when your dad and she were about to reconcile, she aborted that baby before your dad found out she was pregnant. She confessed to your dad 8 months after the fact. You gripe about not having anyone to play with. By my math, you would have a 7 year old sibling to play with. Your mom aborted your sibling and yet she pontificates about animal abuse. She doesn’t like people and has a negative world view that will be passed onto you, only literally over my dead body.  One day, you will see Truth. And not just truth about your mom having an abortion, God loves us all despite our sin and my sin is no different than your moms. But my prayer is that the lens of unconditional love will be removed and you will see your mother for what she is: A lost, broken, mentally unstable person who has parentified you and stolen your childhood as a result. I pray that God will restore to you your youth, your carefree days.  I don’t hate your mother and I don’t want you to hate her. I want you to distance yourself from her manipulative, unhealthy and childish ways and establish yourself firmly in the goodness of Jesus Christ and have the self confidence of someone who has been taken care of her whole life, rather than the one who has taken care. I love you. I’m sorry when I tolerate you. I do that a lot and it is hard because I see so much of your mom in you it sadly appalls me. It is darkness and light. You are light and yet, there is this darkness in you, this cloud that hangs over you, this lack of caring about anyone else, that I cannot ignore. I hate it. I don’t hate you. I pray that you will give your life to jesus sooner than later and that he gives you supernatural wisdom and understanding. Your mother is not healthy. Love her, yes. Be respectful, yes. But do not emulate her. Do not carry on the legacy she is trying so desperately to hang on you. You were made for much more than your mother has shown you through her own life. Pray for your mother, that she too will know the forgiveness and peace that is only found in Jesus. Do not think of yourself as better than her. But do know, that God has called you to a purpose and you are perfectly made. You do not have to carry on your mother’s traits. Boldly refuse them. I pray God gives you clarity to see those traits from which you need to run. I really do love you. I cannot tolerate some of the behaviors and traits I see in you because they are so contrary to who I know God made you to be. Light and darkness are not supposed to be able to be mutually present, but I see them both in you. Win the struggle, be light, as I know you were made to be.

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Dear Stepdaughter (I hate that word),

You have no idea how difficult it is for me to hold my tongue sometimes. The motivation is that I know that God has a plan for you and that you will get to know Him one day and He will shed light on truth. Until then, I sit quietly and I pray for you that you will not be led too astray by your mother. You tell me your mom is involved in PETA and HATES people who are cruel to animals and that your mom gives to animal charities. That is wonderful. But let’s get our priorities straight. People matter more than animals. Your mother aborted your sibling. You never knew, maybe you never will. She cheated on your dad, got pregnant, then when your dad and she were about to reconcile, she aborted that baby before your dad found out she was pregnant. She confessed to your dad 8 months after the fact. You gripe about not having anyone to play with. By my math, you would have a 7 year old sibling to play with. Your mom aborted your sibling and yet she pontificates about animal abuse. She doesn’t like people and has a negative world view that will be passed onto you, only literally over my dead body.  One day, you will see Truth. And not just truth about your mom having an abortion, God loves us all despite our sin and my sin is no different than your moms. But my prayer is that the lens of unconditional love will be removed and you will see your mother for what she is: A lost, broken, mentally unstable person who has parentified you and stolen your childhood as a result. I pray that God will restore to you your youth, your carefree days.  I don’t hate your mother and I don’t want you to hate her. I want you to distance yourself from her manipulative, unhealthy and childish ways and establish yourself firmly in the goodness of Jesus Christ and have the self confidence of someone who has been taken care of her whole life, rather than the one who has taken care. I love you. I’m sorry when I tolerate you. I do that a lot and it is hard because I see so much of your mom in you it sadly appalls me. It is darkness and light. You are light and yet, there is this darkness in you, this cloud that hangs over you, this lack of caring about anyone else, that I cannot ignore. I hate it. I don’t hate you. I pray that you will give your life to jesus sooner than later and that he gives you supernatural wisdom and understanding. Your mother is not healthy. Love her, yes. Be respectful, yes. But do not emulate her. Do not carry on the legacy she is trying so desperately to hang on you. You were made for much more than your mother has shown you through her own life. Pray for your mother, that she too will know the forgiveness and peace that is only found in Jesus. Do not think of yourself as better than her. But do know, that God has called you to a purpose and you are perfectly made. You do not have to carry on your mother’s traits. Boldly refuse them. I pray God gives you clarity to see those traits from which you need to run. I really do love you. I cannot tolerate some of the behaviors and traits I see in you because they are so contrary to who I know God made you to be. Light and darkness are not supposed to be able to be mutually present, but I see them both in you. Win the struggle, be light, as I know you were made to be.

~ by Jacquelyn Fletcher on July 20, 2011.

3 Responses to “Dear Stepdaughter (I hate that word),”

  1. Although it is very sad that her mother aborted the baby, I don’t think that should ever be shared with the step daughter by anyone other than her mother.

    • OH absolutely..that’s why i said maybe she will never know…certainly my husband or I would never tell her…

  2. God bless you. I just sent in another letter as my situation has shifted. I am completely dealing with what you are dealing with. My stepdaughter is completely emulating a woman that is has the worse qualities in the world. I pray that she will realize the light and love and not have such a darkness to other people that her mother teaches her. Some of us family members think she just has part of the mental illness as her mother. Im not sure. I want to believe its modeling behavior that can be changed by choice. At least I pray for such. My step daughter has grown a very pscyho detached lack of empathy in her eyes, dispostion with other kids……When I watched the Casey Anthony trial, god help, I actually thought- It would never shock me if my step daughter did something like that when she got older. I truly cant explain it or fully articulate it. You just have to live with it everyday to see the subtle things.

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