Dear Bio Mom,

I have to admit that when I met your ex-husband I was clueless. I am a childless woman by choice and I sort-of knew what it would mean to have kids in my life even part time. I had no idea what it would mean to have you, his ex-wife in my life. I had no idea that you would at times have more control over my life than I would. I had no idea a woman with children could be so selfish, which in generaly was why I made the decision not to have children. I will say that at times I am reminded by the step family letter project I don’t always have it so bad, however, I do have to put up with you. Honestly, if someone had told me about the “bio-mom” being in my life I am not sure I would have taken on your exhusband and two children. As a mom you are not that bad, unfortunately it is the times that you forget you do have children and think that somehow we are your built in babysitter that baffle me. You think because you work part time, have the summers off so does everyone else. You cannot just pick up the phone and say, “you need to take the kids this entire week.” The world does not revolve around you. We work full time to help support that fact that you do not.

We have scheduled agreed upon alternating weekends, but somehow you think it is okay to just schedule a week’s vacation during our weekend, you don’t ask you just do it. I found out because you posted it on facebook, you got a clue and unposted it – sorry you were too late I already read it. It does not seem to matter that it our weekend, if we have plans or not with the kids and it seems you really don’t care. I am learning to deal with this. However, I will NOT have you stand there after you have taken our weekend away and say that we “missed” a weekend and need to take them another weekend. We did not miss the weekend you took it. AND the audacity of you taking 3 weekends in a row, calling up to say that your daughter misses her daddy and we need to take her early this week is just absurd. Of course she will miss her daddy. Don’t you remember this from last year when you “took” our weekend, same thing. We work, we cannot just walk into work and say oh, I need a week off. Life does not work that way – get a clue. Last year you called up to say that your daughter misses daddy and wants to spend the “off” weekend with him. We were not able to fit that into that weekend. Daddy called up daughter to say he was sorry, but we had plans and were unable to take her that weekend – daughter had no idea what daddy was talking about. Oh – I am on to your conniving ways. When do you wake up and stop being so selfish. Honestly, I just don’t know if I can put up with this for the next 10 years. Unfortunately, your exhusband allows you to walk all over him. I will NOT allow you to walk over me. I refuse. I also know that by me refusing to bow to your whims it puts a strain on my relationship with your exhusband. I don’t know what my future hold, but I will not allow you to ruin my relationship, I will not allow you to control my life even on a part time basis. You may think the world revolves around you – but I do not and will not.

~ by Jacquelyn Fletcher on July 13, 2011.

One Response to “Dear Bio Mom,”

  1. “Honestly, if someone had told me about the “bio-mom” being in my life I am not sure I would have taken on your exhusband and two children.”

    DITTO. I feel the exact same way. You, most definitely, are not alone.

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