Dear Husband

I thought you loved me. I really did. Now I feel so stupid. All I was is hope that you would not have to deal with your abused children. Now you have me to blame for expecting more from them. I have taken them to the doctors, I have gotten them the medicine they need, gotten the school to get them on an IEP so they cannot be kicked out of school. While you sit drunk in your chair every night.  You blame me for your daughter leaving even though I endured her abuse for three years and had NOTHING to do with you and your mothers decision to move her out of our house and into hers. I am tired of being verbally abused daily by your son. He talks down to me because he mimics the way you talk to me. Your attitude towards me speaks loud and clear but you think your boys are too dumb to hear it. But I am the mean one. You are an alcoholic selfish jerk. I am now stuck because I thought this is what God wanted. All those stupid church people told me so. I have no way out. Just to deal with you everyday. I cannot talk to you. I am not alllowed to vent to you about how horrible your children are. I am made to sit here and deal with this everyday sober. You let your daughter abuse me and my daughter for years. You think and apology will just make that go away. You will never forgive me for her not allowing me to be her mother. You think I am so mean to your boys because I expect more out of them than you do. Those boys would have been kicked out of school and would still be eating crackers off the floor of their room if it werent for me. You tricked me. You cleaned yourself up and got sober long enough to trick me into marrying you. Now you blame me for everything. The last straw was when your ex attacked me for no reason on facebook and your solution was to ignore her. Why couldnt you stand up for me? Your own mother told me the other day that you were a jerk because you yelled at her in public to shutup. I told her that is what I deal with EVERYDAY. Right now I hate you. The thought of you touching me makes me want to throw up. But I have no family, no friends. I have no one to turn to.

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on May 2, 2011.

2 Responses to “Dear Husband”

  1. Please, please, please, call the Domestic Violence Hotline; here is their website: http://www.thehotline.org/

    What you are describing is emotional abuse, and I worry not only for you, but for your daughter. They will be able to help you, provide guidance, or just listen. There is always a way out.

  2. Hey girl. I’ve been there and I’m sorry you are stuck in that hell. It can make you a bitter, angry person. Dont let em get to you. ♥

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