Dear Bio-Mom

You are only hurting the child you claim to love. He has repeatedly voiced that he didn’t want to leave when our time with him was up and he asks why he can’t stay a long time here.

He desperately loves his father and me and your attempt to keep him from us is pathetic!

One day he will hate and resent that you refuse to give him quality time with all the people who love him and I won’t feel sorry for you when he feels that way. You are hateful and vindictive and wouldn’t let him be a part of our lives at all for the longest and I haven’t had the heart to tell him why things really are this way but one day whether I tell him or not he will know!

He is old enough to realize that it is totally unfair and I hate you for stealing the precious moments of his childhood that he wants to spend with us! The way you have treated me and his father is despicable but what I really can’t and won’t relinquish you from responsibility for is hurting our kid by denying him the time he deserves with me and his father.

You interrupt the precious little time we do get with him and act like its so awful that you don’t get to see him for a week yet you did that to us! We go two weeks without seeing him, usually without even one conversation and you can’t go three days! What a double standard!

You really are a terrible mother if you think it is ok to withhold him from us just because you aren’t fond of us! You tearing us down in front of him the way you and your family have is uncalled for and we should rake you over the coals for all your shortcomings including the fact that you won’t even consider giving us an equitable share of time with him. His dad won’t take you to task for the mess you’ve pulled but I will!

I hope your son despises you for the way you’ve treated us and kept him from us. And in time he will turn his back on you preferring to spend time with us. When that happens I will be there with open arms! And I will just glare at you with a look that says I told you so!

Karma is a funny thing so go ahead and exact your vengence on us for perceived shortcomings but it will come back to bite you I assure you. I love your child and you don’t acknowledge that but he does. It is sad that you as his own mother won’t do what is best for him. As much as I can’t stand you I recognize he needs time with you too and it truly is ridiculous that I can see better than you can what he really needs and infuriates me that you claim to love him and yet deny him time with us.

I know I didn’t carry him inside of me and you are technically his mother but I am a better mom to him than you will ever be!
Underappreciated Stepmom

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on June 23, 2010.

One Response to “Dear Bio-Mom”

  1. Wow. I can so relate. I wrote something similar here a few months ago. We live in Canada and we have finally after a 12 year struggle with a crazy vindictive Bio Mom gotten some help from a court ordered parenting coordinator. I wish for you some help soon too. Our boy is now almost 14 and he has chosen to be with us 1/2 time. That’s all the poor boy has been asking for years. 1/2 time! Of course, she is freaking out, but there’s nothing she can do about it now, as the parenting coordinator has made it so. Hallelujah. It has made such a positive difference in all our lives, not just my step-sons. Way less stress and for the first time in our 10 year marriage we can plan a summer vacation and make Christmas plans because Psycho isn’t holding the boy hostage for the ransom of the month. I figure another year and he’ll be with us full-time. He’s got her pretty much figured out. I too would never say anything to him about her. It’s getting more and more obvious to him now that his mother is a hateful head-case. Really hope it doesn’t take so long for you. Good luck!

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