To My Step-Daughter’s Grandmother

Where do I even begin? You probably won’t even read this.

The drama you have caused to escalate an already shaky relationship. The relationship with you and your grand-daughter. Which now you don’t have at all.

You have left your granddaughter nasty messages on her cell phone, sent her mean letters and notes. Sent mean spirited holiday and birthday cards. Made harassing phone calls to her on her Birthday and Holidays. She knows you have harassed her father and myself. You have threatened to have her father beat-up. Do you not realize what this does to a child? When you do get to talk to her you never have anything positive or nice to say to her. You are looking for answers from a child. The situation started when she was 8 she is now fourteen. She wants no part of your family, including her mother your daughter.

You once left me a message on my cell phone last December, I held back and didn’t return the call, because it would get me no where with someone like you. You asked in the message “what kind of mother are you?” Well I am a wonderful mother to my son, step-son and my step-daughter. I love them unconditionally. I am a mother that protects from EVIL, encourages great self esteem, independence and making choices that will be beneficial to their lives. As for you what kind of grandmother are you? Definitely not one that your granddaughter can talk about with adoration. Not one she wants to talk about at all. You also said what goes around comes around, and you’re right, so what did you and your family do to deserve this?

You have repeatedly told your granddaughter to seek help, that there is something mentally wrong with her. I am here to inform you that there is nothing wrong with her and a whole lot wrong with you. You should be ashamed of yourself speaking to a child that way. She is a perfect, beautiful, thriving, smart teenager. You need to look inside yourself and your family as to why an 8 year old would disown her mother, and family. What secrets are you hiding? Have you asked your daughter what did they do to your granddaughter? Why would a 8 year old break out in hives in her mother’s home, in her mother’s presence or when her mother came to our house to see her, have full out panic attacks, threaten to hurt herself if she had to stay or go with her mother and call her father to come get her when she doesn’t feel safe with her mother or at her mother’s home. One time when you were there, her mother had to pry her from my car as she ran down the driveway crying, tried to jump through my drivers window screaming don’t leave me here, as she was clinging to my car door. I can’t even explain to you how this broke my heart. I can’t imagine what happened to her there, what made her so scared.

You blame her father and me for why she won’t speak to her mother, you, or your family. Really you should be looking to your daughter & her husband for answers not blaming us for something that happened in your daughter and your son in-law’s house/presence. My husband and I have gone out of our way to welcome, you, your family, his ex-wife and her new husband into our home, gone to all the therapy your daughter asked us too. We have put your granddaughter thru multiple testing at the request of her mother to try to help the situation even though we did not want too. FYI testing came back with nothing wrong with her. Sad part is one doctor said your daughter never bonded with her daughter. In return of our supportiveness to reunite mother and daughter, we get nothing but unwarranted Drama. Not a shocker for you to blame your ex-son in-law. You blame him for so much.

This is what love is: Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Do you have any of these traits? I don’t think so…

Know that your granddaughter is now safe, loved unconditional, she is happy. That her father and I support her emotionally and financially like we have for all these years. We support the decisions she is making and we guide her along the way. We will no longer subject her to you and your family’s hurtful ways.

I know I didn’t give birth to her, but I love her as my own. I met her when she was 5 and ever since have begun a bond that over all these years has only grown stronger. I am teaching her all the aspects of life that a mother teaches a daughter like my mom did for me.

I also have to say Thank you, your treatment of her, it has brought my family closer, we are stronger and we are very happy.

Your granddaughters Step-mother

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~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on May 24, 2010.

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