Dear Bio “Mom”

I don’t like you.  I now have absolutely no intention of ever trying to form a relationship with you so that we can all be on the same page in regards to your son, my step-son.  I tried to reach out to you, but for no reason at all, you tried to physically attack me behind your ex’s back. You were never even able to answer the question I asked you …”what did i do to you?”  I have never even cursed you out, not once.   What a coward you are.  I really don’t understand how people like you are allowed to procreate, but hey, I’m not God, and who am I to judge.

I tried to reach out to you.  I wanted you to know who I am, so that YOU know who is around your son.  I actually put myself into your shoes at one point.  I reached out because I wanted you to know that I was serious about being a positive role-model for your son, but you have done nothing but disrespect me, manipulate your ex, and take your frustrations out on everyone, including your own child.  How pathetic you are.  Don’t blame me or anyone else for your mistakes.  No one told you to make the decision to have a child out of wedlock because you thought it would keep someone around.  If you wanted to marry the man, you would have said yes when he asked you.  If you really wanted to even be in a relationship with this man, you would have never cheated on him, and then live off of him scott free.

Whether your like it or not, I am in a wonderful relationship with this amazing man.  That door is closed to you, and yes, it is your fault.  That is something that you have to deal with.  We all have to pay for the choices we make, good or bad.  Grow up and move on.   The way you have treated me was as if I had done something to your child.  Are you upset that he calls my name in front of you at times?  Are you upset that maybe your son is ok with someone besides you?  Again, you are pathetic.

What kills me… what absolutely infuriates me, is that other bio-mothers identify with you first, even people that know my character, simply because you are the mother.  Its ok for you to leave **** in your son’s pants, but I am looked at like i’m the villain.  It’s ok for you to send him to his father’s house with dirty clothes on, crusted up and upset because you took your frustrations out on him, but you are concerned about how I will treat your child.  Amazing.  Simply amazing.  I hope that you are happy with yourself, because I am certainly not and neither is your ex.  I can only imagine what you have told the FEW friends that you do have about me, who you do not even know, which is ….your fault.  And honestly, I don’t care.  I have to ask God every time I am in close proximity to you to keep me and give me patience and strength.   You are not the victim.  No one has threatened you.  Don’t blame it on “motherly” instinct.  Don’t blame it on anyone but you.  I should have called the police that time, but all I could think about was the look on you son’s face, and remembering what it was like as a child myself  to be thrown in the middle of grown-ups’ bs.  He didn’t deserve that.

Nonetheless, I will continue to lean on God, and be a GREAT step-mother to your son, because he is the sweetest child anyone could meet.  I have alot to offer and plan on doing so.  You will not succeed at anything but being miserable yourself.  Get over it.  Get over your ex – get over yourself.


“Aggravated, but Not Moved by Your BS” Step-mother

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on May 5, 2010.

2 Responses to “Dear Bio “Mom””

  1. I have written almost this exact same letter word for word in my private journal. You aren’t the only stepmother who did everything right trying to reach out and respect the mother, only to get stomped on.

    She’ll never admit that she’s responsible for her life, so be prepared for blame when she suddenly decides she “likes” you and you refuse the contact. But honestly- for my sanity, my relationship, and my stepson’s stability, giving up on his mother completely was the best decision I ever made.

  2. Wow…its like you are reading a page out of my lfe….Only Bio “Mom: has no boundaries once it comes to my husband….she will talk about the kids at first and then go into a tizzy about what she is “thinking” amd reminisce about the “old days” …he comes back to me upset saying how she makes his skin crawl. BTW…he never married her either

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