Dear Husband’s Ex-Wife:

My husband and I are pregnant with our first child.
We have never been so excited in our whole lives.

We are telling his children, my two step-children, during the few hours you have graciously given us. Per your instructions we will be returning them to you right after we eat.

We were planning to tell them during Thanksgiving week, which is our legally-allotted visitation, so they would have several days with us to ask questions and get used to the idea of a new brother or sister.

BUT, because of your hissy fits, guilt-tripping, threats and nagging, YOU will be the one to answer all those questions. We wanted to give the kids time to “calm down” for YOUR benefit.

My sweet husband and I had a plan so that you wouldn’t be so hurt by the news. BUT, because you decided to be selfish about Thanksgiving, this is going to come crashing down on your head.

This news will most likely shatter your perception that you are the “holy keeper of the functioning uterus” and you will no doubt go ballistic, and take it out on my dear, sweet, father-in-law, who will be dropping off the kids at your house.

We did not get pregnant to hurt you.

We got pregnant because we love each other and wanted to make a family.

Our baby will be your childrens’ (half) sibling. If we hear that you told them that the baby is not their “real” brother or sister, we will call you out on your lie.

As usual, I am sure this will turn into a big drama that is “all about you” and how my dear sweet husband “hurt you” and “left his family”.

We would not be surprised if you tried to get pregnant right away, too, if only to steal attention away from this baby. (after all, you did change your wedding date to get married FIRST, and make up lies and wild stories to ruin important days for us.) Just remember that this is NOT ABOUT YOU. PLEASE.


I hope to God that this announcement will not ruin your Thanksgiving, if it does, just remember you were the one who decided it was more important for you to see them during our time, despite the fact we have to make the 400 mile drive to see the kids, then for us to give you “buffer time” for the kids to process that they are going to be big

brother and big sister.



~ by Jacquelyn Fletcher on November 16, 2009.

11 Responses to “Dear Husband’s Ex-Wife:”

  1. Congratulations! It is my fondest hope to be writing a similar letter maybe this time next year. Love the “holy keeper of the functioning uterus” line…heh heh

    I love how you wrote you hope to God it doesn’t ruin her Thanksgiving…you are a better person than me because I don’t even know her but based on what you wrote I hope it does. Yes, I’m that evil.

  2. Congrats on the baby! I know what you mean about her thinking everything is about her. These BM’s have a tendancy to do that. Just remember that she’s only jealous and that as long as the kids have a relationship with their brother or sister that’s all that will matter 🙂 Enjoy this time!!

  3. I hope she reads this!

  4. Was my husband ex-married twice? Holy.
    I have had sweet dreams about:
    1. getting pregnant-we’ve been trying but I am 45
    2. writing this exact letter.
    p.s. I love you

  5. My hubby’s ex decided to remarry on our wedding anniversary. She just had to attempt to take that away too.

  6. I too wish I was writing this letter.
    My husband and I are working on a vasectomy reversal (one more joyous layer). I hope to God it works and I get to have a baby of my own.
    I think it might hit the ball home to his ex that she is not the center of the u(terus)niverse. I wish the whole thing didn’t get me so worked up. Some days it is hard to swallow.

  7. I absolutely LOVE this letter. Written in a “matter of fact” tone and thank you for pointing out that you will call HER out if she tells your stepchildren that your children are not their real sibling. I hope to be writing something similar later this year. Congrats on the baby!

  8. I love this letter. It is so nice to see that I am not alone in a situation like this.

  9. wow thank you soo much for writing what we all wish to say. my husband, stepchildren and i are going thru this very same thing right now as we speak. thanks for giving us what we all want to say everyday

  10. I LOVE THIS!!! This actually made my night worth while reading this! Made me feel tons better! Exactly what I wanted to say right there!

  11. Hi everybody!! Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂
    Thanksgiving is 1 of my favorite holidays, and every yr I like to get into the mood-extend the holiday, as it were-by reading “Thanksgiving novels.” Unsurprisingly, all these stories are mostly about families, about coming together to heal old hurts and giving thanks for the gift of love. … . *
    Do You Think You’re Better Off These days Than You Had been five Yrs Ago?

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