Dear Bio Mom

Are you so insecure that you fear your relationship with your sons can be broken if they love me too? I promise you that your children will never hear a bad word about you from me but they’ve sure heard a lot about me from you.

You’ve planted a lot of strange , untrue idea in their minds. All you’ve done is hurt them, they are so confused.

I am sticking with the higher ground because it is the right thing to do and in hopes that one day they will be old enough to appreciate my respect for you and for them. They will also figure out your manipulations in time and I’m fairly certain it won’t have the effect you had hoped for.

It kills me how nice you are to my face versus how you talk about me behind my back. I’ve heard most of the phone conversations and of course my husband tells me everything you say. The kids always ask us about the things they hear. Why waste time with false pretense? It makes so much more sense for you to just talk to me. I didn’t assume we had to be enemies just because you’re the “ex” but, you really wouldn’t have it any other way.

I just want you to know that regardless of your childish behavior, I adore your kids.

When they are with me I take good care of them. Cooking them breakfast, playing with them, doing their laundry, cleaning up after them when they are sick, snuggling them when they are scared of a storm in the middle of night, doing homework with them, teaching them how to cook and have nice manners. Not really sure what more you expect of me but, I suspect I could never really win your approval.

So sorry you feel the way do. I know its bad for your kids and I know it must be miserable for you too. I’ll just continue doing what I can and hope that someday you find your own happiness.


The stepmom

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on July 21, 2009.

2 Responses to “Dear Bio Mom”

  1. Unbelievable letter. I know just how you feel and you have described your feelings eloquently here. Best of luck to you. It’s a daily struggle to shed the “nasty step-mom” persona, but keep on. Sounds like you’re doing an excellent job and those children are better people for having you in their lives too.

  2. You took the very thoughts from my head. I live this bio-Mom experience every day. Odd how these women do not understand that the children tell us everything, or mine do at least. At this point the oldest girl will actually verify anything her bio-mom says to her with me before believing it.
    I guess we just keep doing what we do and let the kids be the judge when they are older.

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