Dear Bio-Mom

This is the woman you despise, the one who cares for your children and for all of their needs 24 hours a day. I know how old they are, what school they go to, all of their teachers names, that one loves sports, that one is the pickiest eater in the world. I am the one who takes them to the doctor regularly for help with their emotional problems, gets their eyes checked, gets their glassed fixed when they destroy them in one of their tantrums. I take them to the dentist. I go to the parent teacher conferences, volunteer at the school functions, get the phone calls when they are in trouble. I give them their medicine each day and get them filled so they never go without. I cook them their meals, then I listen to them rant and complain about everything I do. I take them to the pool because they like to swim and then get embarrassed when they start talking about their penis or yelling fuck you to get a reaction. I am the target of their rage–because they have no self control and they hate women. I am the one who puts up with the CRAZY behavior and the brain damage done to them due to the “couple” of beers you drank each day or the drugs prescription and non prescription you did while pregnant. I take them to the specialists seeking help and healing so that maybe someday they will not end up in juvie.

I watch them struggle because they have no friends due to their lack of impulse control and immaturity due to your actions during your pregnancies and you locking them in their rooms as babies and toddlers so you could “sleep” which is code word for get drunk and pass out on the couch everyday after your husband went to work. Or so you could have your “man” friends visit.  They still remember being locked in their room and having to sneak out and steal food and urinating all over the floor. I now lock my pantry and fridge doors every night because they still roam and hoard food. And find urine in odd places in the house.

Your daughter will never give me a chance. She will seek you in a year when she turns 18 because she still believes she can fix you to be a good mother because she believes your excuse that it was all your dads fault.

I hate that my husband whom I love stayed with you for you daughters sake all those years even though he hated you. I hate that his mom made him marry you. And as a result of him trying to have a family he never had as a kid the boys were born. It makes me physically ill to think of him having sex with you.

I live with heartache daily and the knowing that the children that I love and do all the mother things for will never accept me as their mother. That my husband will never be my best friend because of the scars from you. We can’t be a normal family, go on vacations or have fun.

They yell at me, they threaten to kill me, they tell other people how horrible I am. They lie about me.

I hope you are miserable everyday of your life. I hope you are repaid for every hurt you have caused your children, your ex-husband, me and my children. This is the most pain I have ever been in and I hope while you sit and drink yourself to death Gods revenge is far greater that anything I can think of.

The REAL mother to your children

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on July 13, 2009.

2 Responses to “Dear Bio-Mom”

  1. This is a very powerful letter. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Wow I’m so sorry you have to go through that. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. I really do think that someday those kids you raise and love will one day become adults and parents and maybe even stepparents – and they will realize all that you have done and continue to do.

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