Dear Husband

I would never leave you. Not in a million years. But I would consider leaving everything you bring to the table. Especially on the days when my efforts go unappreciated. Especially on the days when I feel taken advantage of by you, your ex wife, and the brood the two of you had together. There are days when I hate what you bring to the table and I feel so trapped I can’t breathe. So many people are pulling on me asking things of me wanting a piece of me and then criticizing the parts of me they do get because they’re not enough that I don’t know how long I’ll be able to withstand the pressure. I am strong. By God, I am the strongest fucking person I know. But even mountains crack when the plates constantly shift beneath them and the water wears at them day after fucking day after day. I have to leave. For a day. For a weekend. I have to vent the pressure building in my chest or I’m afraid of what I’ll do.

~ by Jacquelyn Fletcher on June 5, 2009.

10 Responses to “Dear Husband”

  1. goodness, you spelled out exactly how i feel almost every day. yes, go and take time for yourself, you must, no one will spoil you the way you most likely deserve to be. i’d say hang in there, but i’m not sure myself why the hell bother.

  2. you said it sister

  3. Hear you. Take care of yourself and make sure you get some time for yourself each day, week, and month. Notice the “and” not “or”. Your absence may create some unanticipated appreciation – or at the very least relief – when you finally do return after an hour, day, or sweet mercy, a weekend.

    Also, a little regular retail therapy never hurts.

  4. You go girl. Well said.

  5. holy moly, did I write this and not realize it? It’s okay to step away. It really does help.

  6. Well I can’t get away and have become a ticking time bomb! My husband freaks at every chance he gets to keep me home and to himself! I nearly left him twice already (over 4 years)! He just doesn’t get it! he is like taking care of another child at times even battling my own bio kids for my attention! Can we say grow up?Need a damn vacation anyone want to head to Hawaii?!!? LOL!!

  7. Thank you for this! This is exactly how I felt two days ago. I don’t want to leave him–I want to leave the DRAMA! I NEEDED a break, and I wasn’t getting one. And when I was bawling and yelling and angry as hell, saying I needed to leave, even if it’s just to get in my car and drive to the nearest Motel 6 or an extended stay, I was going to do it if I didn’t get some breathing room. The anxiety from dealing with his ex is overwhelming! My husband is WONDERFUL and ALWAYS 100% supportive, and I love my stepkids and want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can, but this week, it’s all gotten to me. I was just ready to leave them all, even my cats, just to get some damn peace and quiet and not have to worry about her damned emails or phone calls or how everyone is bending over backwards to fit her mood swings! UGGGGGHHHH!!!! I’m still not composed, and they’re coming over today. All four stepkids after having to deal with her, and then it’ll just be me and the kids and her constantly interfering with calls, texts, emails, and ranting and raving while my husband is at work–just because she can. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to function this week with them here. I’m about to have a panic attack from all of her neverending drama and antics. Worried. Scared. Angry. And wanting a break like the rest of you. Perhaps there should be a HUGE convention JUST for Stepmoms–a Stepmom Retreat! Once a year, a national or worldwide Stepmom Retreat! Who’s with me?

  8. i love this. i totally agree. it could have been me writing this too. i feel so trapped myself. no one understands. i must have asked for this , i married the man with 4 kids. i never knew what hell could be , i guess i thought everything would be easy. i didnt think about the teen years with teen step daughters who hate you and make life difficult.

  9. Being a step mom has worn me out. I am having a pity party and that is so not like me. I am suddenly very resentful of all the times I have had to buy things for the kids because their mom won’t; even though we pay $1500.00 a month in child support. I am resentful of all the sacrifices I have made to be with my husband and step-family. Yes I know I have gotten joy as well, but today I feel completely un-appreciated. The kids now told their dad that they feel like second class citizens at our house. They don’t know why but they think my son gets to do everything he wants. My husband says that I made my son the “king” of the house and removed his alpha role and have made all of the kids uncomfortable. I did everything over the past 4 years very consciously to ensure that this would not happen. I have never once been the lead in discipline and have never once said no to the kids. That is their dad’s job but now it is my f’ing fault. How can I live with a man that doesn’t even like my son. He is so immature and childish – he never even tried to build a relationship. What the heck – I am so mad I am rambling like a crazy lady. Thanks for listening.

  10. I have so been here and done this… it gets better!! It really does…. hang in there – keep praying and keep pressing on. I think you’ve inspired a post of my own…..

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