To the woman I never thought I’d be friends with

We started out a little rocky. I came into the picture soon after you and he split. I’m sure it seemed shocking and I can still remembering hearing about the fight you both had when he told you about me.

I remember being there for him when you were going through your divorce and listening to the stresses. I remember being named in your divorce papers.

I remember hearing from him, the weekend I had my miscarriage, that you both thought it was best to pretend you were still married when you registered the little guy for kindergarten because you both had different addresses and thought someone would suspect something. I also remember him telling me that same weekend that you thought I was too involved.

I almost left that weekend. I was already depressed and sad from the miscarriage and then to hear those two things made me hate you both. And I really did hate both of you. I still carry some of that resentment in the pit of my stomach now.

But something happened after that weekend. You saw my helpfulness and involvement as a blessing instead of a curse. When “our” husband started to travel more, you and I teamed up to make sure the kids were taken care of.

When we’d sit together at football games, most of the parents couldn’t tell if we were sisters or friends. I think nearly everyone was shocked that we were Stepmom and Mom. I still think some of them wonder which one is which.

We get along really well now and I can’t thank you enough for that. I appreciate that you let your guard down and welcomed me into the family. I want to thank you for letting me be involved with the kids’ school and activities and for trusting my instincts and not talking badly about me.

I know accepting another woman’s care for your children has to be extremely difficult and we’ve made it work pretty well. I think we’ve become poster women for how to co-exist in a blended family.

And I thank you for that my friend.

~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on February 12, 2009.

3 Responses to “To the woman I never thought I’d be friends with”

  1. Do you offer courses?? 😉 In all seriousness, congratulations. It can work.

  2. This is really inspiring. Thank you for sharing it.

  3. You are so truly blessed. How awesome for both families and the children!

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