To My Mother-In-Law

When we first met, things were fine.  In fact, everything was fine for a while, but then I guess you realized you weren’t going to be able to control or manipulate me like you’ve done with just about every person in you’re life, so you decided you were going to stop liking me.  I was always nice and respectful towards you and tried to get along with you, but ever since the day you knew I wasn’t going anywhere, you have been evil and manipulative.  You have plotted things to try to destroy my relationship with your son.  I really believe you stayed up late at night (maybe even all night) to think of things you can do to separate us.  Your behavior is unbelievable, and as a mother myself, I’m surprised that you would treat your son like you have.  Wow.
You know how hurt your son was when his first wife cheated on him with another man, tried to destroy him through her nasty words, and then finally left him with a load of debt and asked for a divorce.  You know how even through that, he tried to fix things with his ex-wife, but she refused because she didn’t think he was good enough for her.  You know all these things.  This is why it is truly incredible that you would try to join forces with his ex just so you can make sure your son is not happy with me.  I’m not sure who is crazier at this point, you or your ex daughter-in-law.  Your son used to warn me about you and his ex-wife.  I tried to give both of you the benefit of the doubt, but when I started seeing and experiencing it first hand, I knew what your son told me was just the tip of the iceberg!
I have NEVER in my life seen a mother act like you.  I thank God for the mother I have.  She loves all of her children, and she has never been evil the way you have been.  I have never seen her treat anyone the way you have treated me.  She has always been good to your son (now my husband).  You make me appreciate my mother even more so and praise her even more so because I can’t believe mothers like you actually exist in the world.  You are so incredibly selfish.  You act like you want to be your son’s wife.  You were so jealous when he proposed to me.  You had a temper tantrum and complained how he never gave you a party like that.  He is your son not your man!  My heart goes out to my husband when I think about what a crazy, dysfunctional childhood he must have had with you.  I understand you went through some painful situations and you eventually became a single mother.  My heart went out to you for that.  I was a single mother myself for several years.  But you have gone to the extreme.  You treat your son like he’s your husband.  It would have been good for you to marry again but you are way too prideful for that or maybe every man who knew you simply knew better than to get caught in that trap.
You didn’t even like your ex daughter-in-law when she was married to your son, but now you can’t get enough of her!  By the way, she didn’t like you either.  I read the stuff she wrote about you.  But the two of you teamed up with one thing in common besides your craziness….you both hate me.  So she has become your puppet (the very thing she used to complain about by the way).  She says and does everything you tell her.  Sad.  You use her to try to manipulate your son just like you did when they were married.  I’m sure you weren’t particularly sad when she divorced your son….you probably thought you could have your son all to yourself then.  But there was one problem….your son met and fell in love with me.  So here I am, the second woman in your way.  Yeah…this could be a Lifetime movie but unfortunately it’s a reality show!  I’m scared to even eat anything you would give me if you did offer it to me.  I will not give you a chance to poison me!  A year ago, words like that would have never come out of my mouth because I didn’t believe I would ever meet anybody like you.  Once again, wow.
During your own mother’s funeral, you plotted to have your son reconcile with his ex-wife so that he could break off the engagement with me.  Who in their right mind would actually thinks like that after their mother passes away???  But you did.  And your crazy ex daughter-in-law did too.  That’s why you became so angry when you heard I was going to be there with my then fiance.  You were supposed to be grieving for your mother but instead you cussed out your son and told him you were going to disown because he wanted to marry me.  The mother in me cannot understand why you would rather your son be with a lying, cheating woman who almost detroyed him than be with me.  Seriously?  There is something really wrong with you.  I guess in your mind, at least you can control her so that she can be evil just like you.  I refuse.  I will never be like you.  I will never mistreat people like you and despise anyone for no reason.  I will never try to manipulate my only son and try to stand in the way of his happiness.  Your ex daughter-in-law on the other hand is well on her way of being just like you!  We all know how your story ended….a lonely old woman who still tries to manipulate everybody she can to get what she wants.  Your own children don’t even respect you.  Neither one of them.  I thought they were exaggerating about you, but they didn’t tell it all!  Unbelievable.
Let’s look at all the things you have plotted that I found out about.  There’s no telling what all you have tried to do that I didn’t find out about!  You planned an impromptu birthday party for the “family” and invited the ex and excluded me with the hope your son would reconcile with his ex.  You used your own mother’s funeral as an opportunity to try to persuade your son back to his ex (going as far as putting them in the same car and room…really?).  While we were engaged, you and his ex would get together weekly and call his phone repeatedly because you know he was with me….and then you have repeatedly used his child as bait to try to get him over to your house where his ex waited.  Your granddaughter has had a lot of questionable “accidents” in the care of you and your ex daughter-n-law during these repeated phone calls.  Yes….you have gone even as far as using your granddaughter “accidents” as bait to get your son away from me.  Let’s look at this….a sliced finger….slashed eye….fallen down the stairs….burned herself.  Lord have mercy….and I mean that genuinely.  I love that little girl, and I hope and pray that you and the ex would not be that low.  But I’m extremely concerned.  She never has accidents like that when she is with us.  It’s sad and I will never tell my stepdaughter this but my prayer for her is that she does not turn out to be like you and her mother!
I could go on and on with the things you’ve been doing.  Yes, it has finally made me angry.  But will I NOT give you what you want and resort to your behavior.  No.  I will not do that.  My mother taught me better than that.  I happen to love your son.  So I put up with all this drama because I LOVE YOUR SON.  Not the kind of love that you are used to showing, but the real kind that suffers long and is kind, does not envy or behave rudely.  The kind of love that does not seek its own and thinks no evil.  The kind that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  So here I am with this man that I love and I’ve been made to look like the villain.  Because you are hateful and spiteful.  Because things didn’t work out in your own marriage and now you want to relate those things to us.  We are not those people in that story.  I pray to God that you will think about what you are doing.  I pray for you all the time that God would change your heart.  Your son does not pray for you.  He hasn’t gotten to that point yet.  He still loves you, but you have hurt him so bad.  You keep on siding with his ex against him.  The woman who tried to destroy him.  Your anger, jealousy, selfishness and so on prevent you from being the mother he would like for you to be.
Even though all of this has go on, we both are hopeful that one day you will come around.  That one day you will stop being like this.  I am angry and appalled at the things you have done, but I still have room to forgive you and so does he.  But we will not put up with your constant ploys to destroy us.  We will not put up with foolishness from neither you nor the ex.  We have had enough.
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~ by Stepfamily Letter Project on November 8, 2010.

One Response to “To My Mother-In-Law”

  1. Your MIL and my ex-MIL are evil incarnate. Too much the devil’s spawn to even pray for. My ex’s “mother” murdered his soul, his dad, and his very manhood and humanity. Unspeakably heinous parental behavior that continues in a vicious, wasteful and sad cycle.

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